Below, you will find a copy of the journal I kept during my transition into, and my first year of, a 100% raw, vegan diet. Some of it is quite personal, but I still wanted to share it with all of you. We may never meet in person, but I feel we are all connected in this world.I want to share my story with you, in hopes that you may learn something about yourself by reading about my journey into the raw lifestyle. Perhaps you'll be inspired (that's my wish), or learn to not make similar mistakes.
The journal begins in July of 2006 and continues into October 2007. If you are interested in reading something from the beginning, please use the archive feature at the right side of this page. If a month has more than one page worth of entries, there will be a "previous entries" link at the bottom of the page to view the rest of the entries for that month.
I have not edited my entries at all. Any entries that were originally marked private have been made public (with the exception of one that included personal information about people other than myself). Even though the entries are old, you are still welcome to add comments or ask questions. We will be notified of any comments that are left.
Again, I hope that I am in some way able to offer something positive to your life by sharing my personal Going Raw Journal.
Lots of love and peace to all of you,
I realized that if I don't have my morning time at the computer, I just don't get around to updating in my journals (or doing other things that I like to do online). So, I've just had a talk with my daughter (she's homeschooled) and she said she doesn't like giving up her mornings for lessons and she'd love it if we rearranged our schedule again. So, now I'm going to work up a new schedule to begin next week--one that gives me my morning time at the computer, giving her the free time she likes in the morning (to do "school" with her "babies" and create various projects). I already feel happy about this switch.
I'm still feeling tired, mostly in my eyes. The weather has been dreary off and on, so that could be the problem. Anyway, I'm happy to say that my inner desire to go raw hasn't seemed to decrease in any way at all. In fact, I have a feeling that I'm at one of those points that people who succeed always talk about. They say things like, "I just knew it was the right time," or "Somehow it just worked this time," or "You'll know it's the right time when it comes." This is the right time for me, I just know it. That feels so wonderful!
What helped me get to this point? I'm not sure. I know it wasn't just one thing, though. Things have kind of been building on top of each other for a long time. The most recent things would be reading a book called Simple Living by Janet Luhrs. She had a course offered through Barnes & Noble, so I signed up for it. I didn't complete the class that first time (I signed up again later for it), but I *did* fall in love with the book. In the book she talked about simple eating. Just about everything in that book struck a cord with me...waking up something inside that has always been there, only half awake most times. Going through therapy is another thing. Somehow, working out stuff that's been stuffed inside me since I was four years old is allowing me to open up other areas of my life, too. I think I'm outgrowing the protective mold I've created for myself (one that was phsyical (gaining weight and making sure I didn't stand out in any way), emotional (not sharing my emotions with many people, many times not even with myself), spiritual (numbing myself and just going through life not feeling connected to anyone or anything)). Having large blocks of time, away from home, this summer helped me, also. As my daughter was in her summer classes, I was able to read and work on things that I've been thinking about. I was able to write, filling up so many pages with what was in my head. I was able to plan and to dream of what direction I wanted my life to go in.
Before all of that, though, there were times when I'd get a feeling that things were changing. I've written a few times in my personal journal about times when I feel like I'm waking up, breaking free from a mold, crying out my birthing cry. On a spiritual level, sometime during the past year I had an experience where I felt my other half came and joined with me. It's hard to explain, and pretty "out there" to many, I'm sure. Anyway, I didn't feel like part of me was missing anymore. I used to think I needed to be connected with another person to be complete, but now I know that isn't true. I am now complete within myself. Perhaps this completeness is what is enabling me to become truly who I am inside. I'm not saying that I don't love my husband or that he isn't my other half in so many ways. Without his love and understanding I might not be moving along this path so easily.
You know how I'm in love with coconuts? Well, I think my second love is now kale avocado salad. I just love that stuff!! Yum!! I just had my second heaping full bowl of it. I ended up eating a little more than 1/2 the batch I made (it was about 6-8 cups packed kale!). The only thing I don't like about the salad is that I have to spend so much time inspecting the kale. The stuff I get from the local farm usually ends up outside for the animals because there are just far too many bugs and eggs on it to clean it all off. This batch I made today was from kale I purchased at our food co op. It's *a lot* cleaner than the stuff we get at the farm, but still has the worm or bug here and there, so I have to individually inspect every nook and cranny of the kale. It's soooo worth it, though! Yum!
I wasn't really desiring any sweets, but a friend mentioned some stuff that she made the other day and I just felt the desire to make some, myself!
So, this morning I made some carob-almond-coconut balls and also some carob-coconut fudge. Yum! I won't eat too much of it at a time, because I'm sure the sweetness isn't completely balanced with the protein in the nuts. It is all very yummy, though.
I've been realizing that whenever I eat out, or eat leftovers after eating out, my eyes are puffy the next day. That's the case today, plus my head feels a bit stuffed up (there must have been some dairy in the Indian food). I'm also sooooo thirsty after eating out. I use a lot of salt when I cook or prepare foods, myself, but restaurants must use a hell of a lot more salt!
I don't know why I don't make it a habit to create menus for myself. The toughest thing is when I open the fridge and see all this fresh produce, but have no idea what I can eat right then. I'm soooo looking forward to the time when I see solitary fruits and veggies and see them as a meal. For now, though, because my mind is convinced things have to be "prepared" in order to have a meal, I should make sure I'm creating menus.